note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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