I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Boobs speak an international language.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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