There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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