After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize