You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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