You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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