i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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