Welp...herpes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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