kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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