You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize