So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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