Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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