Im at strip club and am horny
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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