before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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