You're a womanizer and a bitch.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Say something about gay babies.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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