my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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