Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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