just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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