So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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