He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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