I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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