I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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