its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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