3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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