Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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