He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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