So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
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his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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