I heard we made out
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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