as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize