so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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