So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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