All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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