If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize