he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
we're so committed to being not committed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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