I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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