Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize