So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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