Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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