Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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