You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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