what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
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I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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