Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize