Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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