dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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