I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize