but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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