I've blown a few things in my day
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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