we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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