how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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