I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize